BRING OUT THE BEST

“Everybody ages.”
The Whidbey Wordsmith / joanna2026@yahoo.com / JoAnn Hellmann, JOC (USNR, ret.)

When I was trying to think of a title for my article this month, the R.E.M. song “Everybody Hurts” was playing in the background. Bingo! While everybody hurts at times everybody ages all the time, not just folks past midlife. I bring this up as my husband and I were recently referred to by a close relative as “aging.” I almost retorted with “And so are you or you’d be referred to as dead.” But I kept my New Jersey smart-mouth to myself. It can be a real effort at times.

JoAnn Hellmann childhood photo

That pixie you see here has thankfully aged 70+ years since an aunt posed her like the next Shirley Temple. I still have the birthday card she sent me when I aged to 50 that opens with “Dear Shirley Temple.” But I digress.

Perhaps you’ve heard the saying “Do not regret growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.” Or its variant that starts “Do not complain about growing old.” The sentiment, which emphasizes gratitude for longevity, has long been attributed to Mark Twain, though there appears to be no such documentation. It seems modern aphorisms are often credited to famous historical figures for greater authority. But again, I digress.

Back to that a-word. Many decades ago it got co-opted to primarily mean “old” to define solely negative, ageist perceptions of decline, rather than representing the entire lifespan from birth to death. Research shows that for most of the 1800s, age stereotypes were generally positive, with narratives focusing on heroism, honor, and kinship. The shift began about the turn of the 20th century as those positive descriptions turned increasingly negative, characterized by themes of illness, death, and burden. One reason: The transition from agrarian to industrial society reduced the economic utility of older adults, leading to their marginalization in the workforce and media. Used to be entering the autumn of one’s life carried a predictable narrative: you worked hard, retired somewhere in your 60s, slowed down, and gradually faded into a quieter, more limited version of life. It was what it was and accepted as such.

Well…

You’ve come a long way, baby. (To co-opt an old smoking campaign for women). At about that time it appeared, retirees began quietly rewriting their after work story, thanks to key factors like improved medical treatments for conditions like heart disease, the introduction of antibiotics and vaccines, and the widespread adoption of clean water and food safety regulations. For many since then, it meant stepping into a new version of life; one that’s more intentional, more fulfilling, and in many cases, more vibrant than the decades that came before. This isn’t about chasing youth or pretending time doesn’t pass. It’s about recognizing that the later chapters of life don’t have to be defined by decline. In fact, for a growing number of Americans, they’re becoming the most meaningful years of all.

Many of today’s retirement-aged folks actually are more youthful, both physically and mentally, than their peers in previous generations, and there are a number of studies that confirm it. These folks are aging. Just don’t describe them as such with that adjective as it denotes a diminishment: socially, mentally and physically. For more and more of us, it ain’t us, babe, no, no, no, it ain’t us, babe. (My apologies to Mr. Dylan).

They say with age comes wisdom, kindness, confidence and ease. So I leave you with these inspiring notes that focus on the silver lining of the golden years:

“The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.” Madeleine L’Engle, American writer

“Let us never know what old age is. Let us know the happiness time brings, not count the years.” Ausonius, poet

“Aging is not ‘lost youth’ but a new stage of opportunity and strength.” Betty Friedan, pioneering American feminist

“Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.” Franz Kafka, visionary writer

“Do not grow old, no matter how long you live. Never cease to stand like curious children before the Great Mystery.” Albert Einstein, philosopher / humanist / theoretical physicist

What are your thoughts, Dear Readers? Email me and let me know!

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